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Status Updatekilling time or dying inside?
Sign: Aquarius
Orientation: Straight
Shout Out ......loveSO..this boy. His name is Josh. Just writing his name makes me feel amazing. Ive kown him for quite some time now and one thing i know for a fact is that..I love him, more than the stars in the sky and the grains of sand on this whole world. He makes me feel like no other person ever has. hes the only boy i ever wanted, hes all that i need, hes perfect. Hes constantly in mymind, literally all day and night, ask anyone. People get annoyed by how much i talk about him, but what can i say, i cant help it. Hes the reason why i know what love is, without him id most likely die. hes that one special person i want my whole future with. I see no one else in it but him. Even after all this time that we havent seen eachtother, i seem to have grown a stronger love for him, each day tht passes. He lights up the darkst parts in my mind, and its amazing. I know this sounds cliche but hes my other half, he completes me, without him im nothing. I want to be in his arms all the time. Years may pass and i can assure that my love for him will only get stronger. Its impossible to explain exactly how he makes me feel. I feel like i need him in order to continue with life. I cant focuz on anything bcuz everything remins me of him. I have so mch respect for him, i dunt think he knows it. I wish he realized how special he is to me. People may tell me that someone likes me, but im just like 'oh cool'. Cuz Josh is the only person that i want, i want to be his only one. My poems are mostly all dedicated to him..i write his name all over my paper, i draw pictures. Its pretty pathetic how much i daze about him. Im not ashamed to tell people I love him, bcuz hes everything i ever asked for. I fell for him so hard, too hard i think. No other bo has taken my heart, i wont give it to just anyone...bcuz I believe that Josh has it. I can go on and on about how much i love him...but theres also pain involved in this setting. My one love has seemed to just, throw everyting i thot we had and more, away. Suddenly love, is just like any other word. Theres no hope, meaning, or background behind it. He told me just a few words, that turned my life completely downward. I cry over excessivly for him, just thinking of wat we could have been. Im just this confused person in a hopeless state of mind, disullutioned by what is no more, and never will be. Even tho he completely broke me, and left me behind in his past, i somehow still have te urge to get him back. My bestfriend, tells me to stop chasing after him, because hes gone and is not coming back. Its so hard to let somone yew truly love, go, just in a mtter of time. Ive never expierenced such a breakdown in my life..becz i have never truly-LOVED-someone. I gess part of love, is having to give up sacrafices in order for that person to be happy. I jst hate the fact that Josh is going to be happy with someone else, instead of me. I dunt want to be in the background, watching another girl, have my other half. -NO- one else, can give him what i could have given him, true love, happyness, etc. I wish he knew exactly how much i love him. Im slowly going to have to let him go, without looking back. Memories in my heart are the only thing im left with.Living with no hope if -US- ever. Even tho he drived me into depression...mylove for him..will never ever die.  Marissa Nicole Moreno. This girl. I believe she is my long lost sister. She is one of the most amazing friend i have ever had..even the word -BESTFRIEND- doesnt compare to how much she means to me. We have been through so much together. Ive never grown so close to someone and i love the relationship we have come to, and i only hope it gets better. Shes always there for me, in my hardest times. When im confised, she guied me through it, and shows me that reason why i am alive and am not a waste of time. When im living in my own shadows of pretend, shes there helping me through it. We laugh about the most retarded thing anyone can ever think of...its so stupid but awsome at the same time. I feel like ive known her my whole life!! Seriously i would give up anything for her. If i lost her, i would lose everything. Ive never told as much as i have told her, to anyone else. She knows almost everything about me, and the things i go through. WHen i feel like empitness is eating my whole life up she gives me the courage to still live and continue to be strong. I cant keep anything from her cuz shes too important for me to do that. At the end of the day, i can look forward to see her the following day, just knwing that i have someone who wont let me go and abandone me. I dunt ever wana lose her cuz i trust her so much and i love her,if she left, i would have no one. Teres way too many memories with her to just forget...im only hoping that they will continue, forever. Shes the -PERFECT- friend anyone couuld ever ask for. Im so grateful that we found eachother!! Were so lame!! but its ok....cuz we can be lame together :) Im always going to be there for her with anything she comes tome with, and anything she goes through! She knows all my troubles! Its insane!! She knows me inside out, i think more than myself! She tries to clear my mind of my pain and sadness, it works. but i have such a stubborn heart that i still go back to it :/ I wish i could be with her all the time, but id probably die, of so much laughter!!! ...man...nicole is the perfect storybook fantasy bestfriend/sister. SHES MINE!!! GRRR..ill fight for her if i have to! haha |
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